I’ll be honest, I’ve never really been a cake genius, it’s something that has always sort of scared me. I’m much more of a savoury kind of girl anyway. Give me a choice between a bar of dairy milk or a packet of Quavers, I’m Quavers all the way. You’re one or the other don’t you think?

Anyway, I have a couple of friends who are seriously brilliant cake makers. You know who you are ladies. Decorating and everything – the full works. Their brilliance never ceases to amaze me. So whenever they bring cake, I’m always the one trundling behind with my home-made quiche. But nobody really raves much about quiche do they? Although to be fair mine is pretty good (modest), I’ve had a bit of practice. Even my mum likes it and she doesn’t like eggs. Hmmmm maybe I’ll have to do a little blog-ette about quiche. But for now:

Let there be cake!

So I went to quite an old-fashioned school where we were taught how to make a skirt in textiles class and we could all cook a three course meal by the age of 11 but when I left there, I didn’t even know how to turn on a computer and I don’t remember anything much about actual cake.

My nan was always a bread pudding and fairy cake baker but I don’t remember her making layered cakes. But I am obsessed by bake off (aren’t we all) and it led me to think I really ought to master the basics. Turns out I’m not the only one who finds proper baking just a little bit daunting. See the thing is, I’m more of an ‘intuitive’ cook shall we say. A maker-upper. I’m not really one for getting out a book and measuring a quarter of a teaspoon here and five grams there. But when you bake, it’s all about the science and that’s important.

I remember when I was a child going to the lady next door who I used to call Auntie Phyllis. She was so lovely and one of those ladies who always seemed to smell of cake whenever you saw her. I remember her showing me that the best way to make a sponge was always to weigh your eggs then go from there. Then it was just the same in SR flour, sugar and butter. See, that’s my kind of recipe.

So last year I decided I really ought to master the whole cake thing again at the ripe old age of 36. There are a few little tricks I’ve been shown by different people along the way so here is my totally foolproof way to make a sponge. It’s then easy to modify if you want to do a different flavour of any kind.

So:

Start with three big eggs, or four smaller ones. Weigh them in their shells… These btw are Jimmy eggs. Hubby has a friend called Jim with chooks and they’re laying lots right now – the fresher the better without a doubt. And I cannot hold in my unending love for an egg that doesn’t come with a date stamped on it.

Once you know your egg weight, weigh out exactly the same in SR flour and sugar and butter. If I don’t have enough butter, I use a bit of olive spread, it’s absolutely fine to do that. The butter needs to be soft (the total opposite of pastry grrrrr) so either leave it out of the fridge for an hour before you start or you can do a sneaky cheeky and pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds to soften.

Whip your butter and sugar together thoroughly, I have a KitchenAid mixer but you can do it by hand if you like. Then break your eggs into a jug and whip them well. Add a spoonful of self raising flour from your weighed out amount to stop the egg curdling and mix it all for a minute. Then sieve your flour in and mix that in with a metal spoon. That’s it. Nothing more to it. No jiggery pokery, no magic spells.

I use cake tins with loose bottoms as they have sides which go straight up and make better looking sponge cakes. If you use the fixed based ones then the sides go up at an angle and your Victoria sponge will look a bit like a flying saucer. (I was so proud of my very first Victoria sponge last year and then one of my friends said it looked like a flying saucer. I was utterly mortified and bought new tins the same day.) Line your base with grease proof paper and grease the paper and the sides of both tins.

Question: Do you put the tins on your greaseproof paper, draw around them and then cut them out? Want an easier and much more fun way to do it? See below… Just measure one whole width by eye so you have a square that’s the correct diameter, then fold, fold and fold again. Then cut the gentlest of curves at the top and unravel the origami and you will have a circle. I find this so quick and it makes me chuckle. It’s tempting to make a snowflake though I’ll warn you so rein yourself in peeps.

        

Drumroll….

Just like that!! (Tommy Cooper voice)

So pop your sponge mix in your tins, I use a plastic spatula to get everything out of the bowl. I quickly pop each tin on the scales to see I’ve got roughly the same amount of mix in each. Then give each one a gentle bang on the worktop to get any air bubbles out. Stick them in a pre heated oven about 180 for about 25 mins but as with anything all ovens are a bit different so just watch them and when they’re done, they’re done. Should be a nice golden even colour and if you stick a skewer it should come out clean.

Then let them cool. That’s the hard part.

This one is going to get some homemade lemon curd a patient brought me and some whipped double cream as its a bank holiday treat.  I most often just put a generous layer of homemade raspberry jam in though. That’s your traditional village fete style Victoria sponge. And then icing sugar of course, hovvering over with my teeny tiny sieve. Which. Hides. A. Multitude. Of. Cake. Sins.

Drumroll. Taaaaaa-daaaaah! (I say that a lot) She’s a thing of great beauty, I’m not going to be bashful about it.

Go on, have a go. Don’t be shy. It’s nothing to be scared of. Unlike spiders. They are to be terrified of. But cakes, they’re just pussycats.

Happy cake-ing one and all.